Motherhood journey & birth story continued • •
When they say it takes a village — it really does . I have learned so much about community — way more than when I was even living in an “ intentional community “. Real life community around you that comes together to help support each other . I have felt so loved and blessed by people around me. Even strangers treated me like gold. So loving, willing, generous, supportive, full of beauty, joy and celebration for this life coming into the world.
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I felt showered in blessings everywhere I went in my pregnancy and reminded of my beauty. I even had other men tell me that a pregnant woman is the most gorgeous thing to walk this planet. Or had others want to be with me while I was pregnant !!! I was in awe and received the most gorgeous reflections. It
really kept me going because I would return home to just being alone and pregnant and never touched, held or loved in this experience, and it felt so lonely and sad in moments for me.
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It was so hard to not feel well and feel so exhausted and have to always cook for myself and do everything for me and this baby without any help at all. I felt sick the majority of my pregnancy and it was really challenging. I feel proud of myself that I made it all the way to the finish line.
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I feel angry that I have had to apologize to my baby for all the horrible feelings & thoughts, all the stress that she is feeling too because of this. To work so hard to make sure to tell my baby girl my entire pregnancy even until this day before she makes her entrance into this world, that she is so loved & wanted. I have had to be so fiercely loving and protective of her. Telling her how much she deserves in this world and I hope she never gets treated poorly, in some of these ways I have as a beautiful sacred woman of this earth.
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I have had to trust so deeply that she is so very wise and that she understands at a deeper level, and that it’s okay to show her that we need to feel these human emotions — full spectrum. And also that she somehow chose this and knows what she’s stepping into and everything is okay.
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To be continued…