Motherhood journey & birth story continued β’ β’
Let me just say that this experience has had a lot of twists and turns, grief, rage, and beyond wild emotions.
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In this deep magic, there is muddy grit too.
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So letβs get raw together. πππππΏπππππ
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I feel so angry that I was not treated in the ways I know so deeply, I truly deserve.
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And not just me. Every little girl, woman, mother, daughter, sister, and all the women who came before us. I will not sit here in silence and be small. I will not hold back my voice. I will not withhold the truth. Because trulyβ I was treated in a way that is a disgrace to this planet . And even deeper than what it felt like for me personally, I felt the biggest anger of all, that this is what the earth is being treated like and I have no tolerance for that.
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It has been so fucking hard to let go of my anger about this and forgive because I devote my whole life to being a steward of this earth and to take care of herβ our mother. I spend my life helping to heal and holding space for women all over the globe to stand in & reclaim their power and heal their wombs and hearts.
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I have been in complete dis-belief that I would have this experience in such a precious & sacred moment in my life . That it would unfold in this way. It has been so challenging to accept it . All the while I have had to soften into all of it and have full trust in it all.
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I of course desired to have a beautiful, amazing, loving, supportive partner in this β¦ but I didnβt and I donβt, and I know that I can utilize this wound as a beautiful tool to help heal even more and share my story with other women, so that they can feel empowered too. Because in reality - us women, mothers, we are doing this all on our own inside of ourselves. There is no one else that is helping to grow, nourish, nurture, and sustain this baby except for you and your body. And when I realized that β it gave me a lot of strength and courage.
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Of course it would be so lovely and beautiful to have that support and love from a partner, someone to kiss my belly and share this beyond beautiful and magical adventure, but I didnβt NEED it.
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To be continuedβ¦