Motherhood journey & birth story continued • •
The day after the ceremony, I went for a walk on the beach with a dear sister of mine to integrate and go have a nourishing meal.
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As I walked along the shoreline, I came across a recently deceased pelican . She was still warm and it was unknown how she passed. Her spirit was still very much present.
As she laid there in stillness, belly to the earth, I placed my hands on her back & upon her wings. After some long moments to connect with her spirit, I received the message that she wanted to offer me her feathers, to use specifically for womb healing and working with the waters of the womb. Also for motherhood blessings. ( Which I do all of these offerings already and this was such a gorgeous gift offering to add into it all).
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I walked away that day with her wings, cleansed them in beautiful rituals & flower baths, performed a purification ceremony & preserved them. They have sat upon my alter ever since.
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I then discovered that the medicine of the pelican is a medicine of sacrifice from the mother to her offspring . The medicine of true maternal love. 𓆁
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July 9th, 2021 on the new moon in cancer, I took my first official pregnancy test.
I was given the most beautiful gift of my life. Against all odds, I was pregnant. With only one working fallopian tube, she was safe in my uterus and her beautiful heart beating strong with the pulse of life.
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I was so nervous and scared for this appointment because I did not know if she was ectopic or safe in my uterus. I either had to have emergency surgery that day and release her back to the stars, or I would have the most beautiful opportunity of motherhood.
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I was violently shaking laying there in that ultrasound room, and the technician said to me, “Puedes tratar de no moverte? Estoy tratando de escuchar los latidos del corazón de tu bebé.” ( Can you please try not to move, I am trying to listen to your baby's heartbeat.) I looked at the screen and saw my baby safe in my uterus. I closed my eyes and listened to her heart for the first time.